A long weekend

I will admit that I have been a bit negligent in keeping this blog updated.  It’s not from a lack of desire.  I’ve been busy…or tired. As of this posting, there are 103 days before graduation. 

This weekend, I took a trip back to Chicago.  It’s been an emotional trip.  I had a friend get engaged and another get married.  I signed the papers to put my condo on the market after deciding that the next stage in my life may not include Chicago.  I went to an ICU to see a friend’s mom who has suddenly fallen ill. I helped to make preparations for my brother to move back in with my mom. I saw my sister, her husband, and the kids.  I ate Girl Scout cookies. I slept when I could, and now I’m at the airport waiting for a flight that is currently delayed two hours.  

I began my final semester a couple of weeks ago.  So far, so good. My perspective is much different than when I first arrived.  Course registration and bidding went without a hitch. Since I fulfilled my graduation requirements last semester, I was free to choose pretty much whichever courses I wanted to take.  I think I made some good selections and left a bit of flexibility in my schedule to enjoy a few of the intangibles that come with being a student at the Kennedy School.

My journey this past 200 days has been less about academics and more who I am and who I want to be. I’m not flunking out, but then again, I’m not dazzling anyone with my academic prowess.  On the flight from Boston to Chicago earlier this week, I was seated to next to a woman with whom I struck up a conversation.  She’s a professor at one of the arts colleges in the Boston area.  She teaches theater and human rights. It was through my 3 hour conversation with her that I realized that my dream is viable and that I may need to think outside the box to make some things happen and that the things that happen may not happen the way I planned.  I have her card and I plan to hang out with her several times before graduation.  We’re kindred spirits; feisty women of color who want to make life better for our contemporaries and those that come after us.  She’s doing it through the arts, and I want to do it through business.

The fact that life is going on at full speed while I am trapped in the Harvard “bubble” has caused me to be a bit more introspective and reflective than I might normally be. I realize what I’m missing, but at the same time I appreciate everything that I’m gaining. Pressing the reset button on my life has been more difficult, complicated, emotional, heartbreaking, exciting and exhilarating than I could have ever imagined.

I’m still quite stressed about finding my next work opportunity.  My hairstylist (and others) has said that I will find a job and not to worry.  My response to her: Every whore on the corner can find work.  I need to find the right work!  

Ups and Downs

When I started this blog, I made the decision to write about all of the good times and the bad times so that at the end of the year I can see how much I’ve grown. Well, this is one of those not-so-fun posts.

I knew that I was making a tremendous sacrifice when I decided to be a part of the Class of 2013, but the emotional toll of it was evident this past week.

On Saturday evening, I got word that my friend had given birth to a baby boy.  Not even 12 hours later I found out that a lifelong friend’s mom lost her battle with cancer.

Another friend has decided to stop her chemotherapy treatments and let nature take its course as she’s physically and emotionally tired.  I had hopes of seeing her in November, but based upon the time table given to her by the doctors, that may be too late.  I really wish I could visit with her one more time, but I’m happy with my last memory of her.  We were in drinking wine around her dining table and catching up.  Her adorable red-haired identical twin granddaughters kept us company.  The chemotherapy was already taking its toll, but she was in good-spirits and the most gracious hostess.

I haven’t felt well this past week.  I thought it was a cold, but as I read what I’ve written above, I’m sure that stress and emotional fatigue had a large part in taking down my immune system.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate cancer?

Twinges of homesickness

This morning I was awakened by a police officer cruising down the street on the loud speaker saying “Please move ya caaaah.  If you don’t move ya caaaah, you will be towed.  We aahh about to staaht street cleaning.”  Whoa… I’m not in Chicago anymore!!!  In Chicago, you would have awakened to find your car gone. Like POOF! Gone.  Good luck finding and getting to the tow lot and even bigger luck getting it back without coughing up some serious cash. So, even while I was awakened out of a sound sleep, I wasn’t even upset.  I consider that wake up call to be a true public service announcement!

The other night I had a visit from my BFF who drove up to take this poor college student out to dinner.  It was so nice to see a familiar face!  I haven’t been gone very long, but my brain has been on overdrive learning new faces and names.  I missed the comfort of seeing a familiar face and I hadn’t realized it.  I enjoyed her visit, but I was definitely homesick by the time she left.

The homesickness has passed, but I’m sure that this will not be last time that it will make my acquaintance in the next year!  I just have to hunker down and keep my eyes on the prize. It’s one of the sacrifices that I chose to make when I accepted admission into the program.

I invite you to do your part to keep the homesickness at bay: SEND CARE PACKAGES! (Especially chocolate...I'm partial to chocolate!)

signed,

Chicago Girl At Heart