My Harvard Vocabulary

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. 

Because it had been so long, I felt this overwhelming pressure to make the next post a literary piece…you know, because I *am* halfway through a grueling academic year at Harvard.  (Insert eye roll)

But it did make me think about my writing and vocabulary. You would think that my being at Harvard would have caused my vocabulary to have grown exponentially. It hasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, my classmates and I joke about some of the “expanded” language that is in our required readings.  I think some of these PhD’s use the trick of verbose language to meet chapter length since their publishers dictate font and spacing.  Then we students read it and get nothing out of it because it is 2AM, the coffee has long worn off and we have another couple of hundred pages to read for another course before 10AM.  It gets old quickly.

So, my new phrase which is concise, to the point, and shouldn’t be repeated in the presence of minors is: That’s fucked up.  I don’t like using it, because the f-bomb isn’t very lady-like, but the more I read about what’s going on in the world, the more appropriate the phrase is able to articulate what I’m feeling.  Unfortunately, I seem to be saying it more and more.

Mitt Romney and his 47% comment: That’s fucked up.

Honey Boo-Boo and Family: That’s fucked up y’all.

The Taliban shooting a young girl in the head because she wants an education: That’s fucked up.

An in-class discussion about the practice of murdering twins at birth because they’re bad luck, when I have a twin brother: That’s doubly fucked up.

M23 + DRC + Rwanda + rape as a weapon of war: That’s fucked up

The NRA spokesperson’s response to Sandy Hook and his solution to gun violence: That’s really fucked up.

The list goes on…

So, when you hear me say “That’s fucked up” it’s not to minimize what happened; it’s just my first gut reaction. Then my brain and heart engage to start the dialogue on to what to do in an attempt to fix the problem at hand.

I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  Right now, I’m just thankful that I haven’t started a comment in class with my new phrase.  It might make for an interesting spring semester though.

Recalibration

The semester will be over in less than a month.  

My last class is on December 6^th.  It’s a class that I absolutely adore, so it will be a little bittersweet.

In another class, I’m counting the days until my own personal hell is over.  I do not like this course. I have never liked this course.  It is highly unlikely that I will ever look back on this course with fond memories.  The only thing that I can say about this course that is positive is that the seats in the classroom are comfortable.

Today, one of my assignments was returned to me.  My grade was a B/B-.  In the Harvard world, this is a failing grade. At first I was a little shocked and disappointed.  While I’ve learned to “Embrace the B” it’s a completely different reality when that little minus sign is attached to the B. 

I cannot let the B- disturb my flow.  I now realize that I should have dropped the class.  A good friend, who has never steered me wrong, told me that if I didn’t like a class by the third meeting that I should drop it.  Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to her. I have decided that I will work my (increased-in-size) ass off for the courses that I actually enjoy. This one will get what’s left over and I will be ecstatic to bet a B-.

I vowed that I would not get caught up in grades, but here I am. To help me recalibrate, I re-read the essays in my application package. In one particular essay, I was very definitive about the way that I hoped to impact society.   Nowhere in the four essays did I mention grades, which says a lot.

My eyes are back on the prize. 

100 Days

You would have thought that I would have had a count down or something going…but I didn’t. Oops!

Yesterday marked the 100^th day of my Harvard journey.

I still haven’t been back to Chicago. 

I still have bouts of homesickness. 

I still doubt the wisdom of putting major parts of my life on hold for the sake of this opportunity

I still wonder about the admissions criteria

I still think that this is one of the wisest choices I’ve made

I still wonder about what my future will look like post-Harvard

Only around 200 days of the journey remain and that makes me a little sad. 

I truly hope that I'm making the most of this experience.

The next 100 days will be referred to as “The Hump”

Sign of the times?

Is this a sign?

 

On October 16^th of this year, I felt the earth move under my feet.  It didn’t last long, but it was enough for me to recognize it as an earthquake.   It measured 4.0 in magnitude.

Today, October 26^th, all the news outlets are preparing the upper east coast for Hurricane Sandy which has also been dubbed the “Frankenstorm” because of the widespread havoc she can cause if she merges with a cold front.

 

 

Uh, I’m from Illinois.  We deal with excessive heat, artic temperatures, ice storms and minor earthquakes. We know that at 10AM on the first Tuesday of the month that the tornado sirens will be tested.  If we hear that signature wail at any other time, we are to proceed to the inside rooms or into the basement with no questions asked. I’m taking comfort in that I already know what should be included in a survival kit.

This is my first time living in the Boston area. It’s bad enough that my beach time was stunted by a great white shark attack this summer, but to have an earthquake and the threat of a hurricane within a 2 week span is pure CRAZINESS.

I really want to think that this is purely coincidence.

I hope it is purely coincidence.

If not, I’m heading back to Chicago because self-preservation ranks *very* highly on my list of priorities. You can call me a chicken, but at least I’ll be a living clucking chicken. 

Dead chickens are called dinner.

An Open Letter

Dear random Harvard University professor,

Thank you so much for coming to speak to our class yesterday.  I know that you don’t normally teach our class, so it was enlightening to hear your stance on the topic at hand.  I am sure that I had never considered the problem in your context. I realize that everyone has a valid experience and that I cannot discredit your experience because of my own bias.  Being confronted with such a radical idea has allowed me to sharpen my critical thinking skills and solidify my position on the subject presented.  That being said, I am extremely disappointed/shocked/dismayed/angered by what you said in class yesterday.  Had I presented the same information, with the same lack of sources (credible or otherwise) you would have taken a chunk out of my ass.

Whether we like it or not, we have a responsibility to the Harvard brand to present well-crafted arguments.  Our words and actions are no longer in a vacuum, but are now representative a greater collective.  I understand this.  You understand this.  Our mutual understanding is why I call bullshit.

Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying my time at here at Harvard.  To have access to great minds and intellectual innovation delights my inner nerd.  I wouldn’t trade this year of learning and growing for anything in world.  But that doesn’t mean that I’m not frustrated by professors that waste my time.  When I am expected to make excellent use of the stingy 20 minutes offered during office hours, I expect for you to have that same consideration for my time. This has nothing to do with Harvard, but everything to do with respect.

I’m just a simple Midwestern girl.  I believed that I had won the intellectual lottery when I was granted admission. I still believe it.  The rose colored glasses I donned when I stepped off the plane at Logan Airport are still in place.  You have ability to impact the vision that I am seeing through those glasses.  Please don’t take that responsibility lightly.

Best,

Michelle

Check Please?

For the last couple of weeks, I have been working diligently and submitting assignments for my classes.  Most of the assignments were only a couple of pages, but the sheer quantity of reading that I was supposed to internalize to produce the mini-assignments was a little mind blowing.  Late last week my professors started to return my submitted assignments.

Excuse my American English as I pose the following question to Harvard University:

What the fuck is up with the check marks!?

Really, Harvard?  Check marks? No beginning of the alphabet? No numbers? Check marks! How am I supposed to embrace the B, when I can’t figure out what letter the mysterious check mark will morph into?

For those of you not in the know, Harvard grades on a curve.  I think this is their way of insuring that we all conform to curve. Why did y’all think I was embracing the B? The B is the center of that curve!

In all honesty, I’d rather have a gold star than a friggin’ check mark, but that’s just me.

But speaking of GOLD STAR effort, I’d like to thank my best friend for sending me a care package full of healthy goodies.  She heard my lament about having to buy fat pants and she decided to help me out instead of passing judgement about the snugness of my pants.

She even included dark chocolate dusted almonds in 100 calorie packs and Skinny Cow chocolate sticks.  That, right there, is true friendship!

Healthy Snacks, YAY!